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Rot in hell, January.

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Feb. 1st, 2009 | 11:25 pm
mood: uncomfortablesluggish
music: Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins - The Charging Sky | Powered by Last.fm

A cold and dark hell, that is. Send the fiery conditions my way.

I had been putting off any blogging until I had something better to report, but hell, that's not what this whole thing is about. So here it is anyway: I normally don't subscribe to superstitious ideas of the character of months, but every year when winter comes along and kicks me in the ass, I have some doubts. February used to be my supposedly bad month (see the archives of this LJ), but I think we can safely say that January has sucked giant balls this year.

I'm seriously a bit worried about my reaction to winter, given that there is a good chance I'll be in a colder and darker climate next year. I am crying out for more sunlight in each day, and less having to deal with sweaters and coats and warming up the car before I can drive and so on. I actually did like the snow we got on Inauguration Day, but that was just one occurrence, and it was cloudy and cold for most of the month. Of course with February comes more sunlight in each day, so hope is not lost. But I am really seriously so tired of winter.

And other than that, I am just exasperated with life. It's been coming and going in waves, which became more frequent and more spiky since Thursday or so. Work is becoming such a chore with no end in sight, dinner on Friday night was pretty much an exercise in failed communication (at least on my end, I have no idea if the feeling was mutual), and I'm late to everything because I just can't muster the energy to go faster. It's not all bad, though; we had an amazing birthday party for Matt at my house last night. It was great to see people, and even getting everything ready for it was fun: Matt and I went to Target for supplies and came out of there with a cart full of heartburn. Mmm, pizza rolls and colby cheese and Li'l Smokies and Franzia (the theme was A Very Tacky 25th Birthday Party).

Apropos of nothing else, here is what I was able to do this weekend despite feeling so weighed down: continue to work out regularly (which helps), cook food, shave, replace all the outdoor light bulbs on my house, host a decent party and clean up afterward (mostly), finish reading a good book that I started in October. Whether or not they sound trivial, they each made a big difference in my being able to function. Things I wasn't able to do: wash the dishes from the party, fix my budget, care about how work is going to go on Monday, return a phone call that I should have, engage in a debate that I would normally enjoy. I'll live.

I am, however, optimistic about February and not just because of the slightly longer days. I will be traveling some (an announcement upcoming shortly), and I still have the wondrous people associated with SMNMC and STNMC and so on in my life, and that's lovely. And with luck, work will be going more smoothly in the next few weeks. I'll report back; for now, I'm going to bed in anticipation of actually getting there on time for once tomorrow.

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from: kishenehn
date: Feb. 2nd, 2009 05:40 pm (UTC)
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I definitely have Seasonal Affective Disorder in my life ... and the world seems to pick up on it in its dealings with me. But the days get ever longer ...

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jonathan

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from: silverthief2
date: Feb. 2nd, 2009 10:38 pm (UTC)
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Well, it was 62 degrees today so that was a nice start to recovering from the winter. I'll send some sunlight your way!

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